I don’t understand the kind of people that can just waltz into a store, eyeball ten items, grab them, and buy them without visiting the fitting room. Perhaps they know their bodies really well, or perhaps they don’t care too much, but I must try everything on and scrutinize in ways that would make an unsavory mother in-law proud. Which is why underwear shopping really stresses me out. You just get to pull, stretch, and pray your favorite style hasn’t been tinkered with.
Everyone has different preferences, but all women want to feel confident and comfortable when slipping on some unmentionables.
MVP (Most Valuable Panty): Hanky Panky’s
With a cheeky name, full lace, and sassy color spectrum, Hanky Panky’s are truly the best lace thongs out there. I haven’t tried the other styles, but these are a keeper. I admit they are pretty expensive, but the lace holds up for years (yes, years!) and the variety of color means you can go the saucy route in black and red or fun loving in lime green or bright orange. Often imitated, never duplicated, if you love you some lace thongs just avoid looking at the total amount and pass over the cash
The Illustionist: Tart Noir by Tart Collections
I’ll start with the good news. This weekend I found a pair of underwear that I fell in love with the second I was fully swathed. These seamless underwear lie amazingly flat against your skin and the raw edging doesn’t budge or roll up. The coverage exposes amply cute amounts of bum without going the full thong route, making them comfortable for any situation. I got them at Marshalls, and searched for them online, but it seems like they must be a discontinued collection. I will be e-mailing the company to see if they have back stock, because these feel too good to let go so easily.
Of course, there are always those who aren’t pulling their weight.
The Gasper: Jockey’s Seamless Thong
Don’t let the name fool you. These aren’t good gasps. This is a three part gasp. The first happens when you pull them up and realized that besides being a small (or medium, or large) across the board that you should have sized up. The second gasp comes immediately afterward when, upon inspection under clothing, you can still see underwear lines. The third happens when you go to walk and realize how painfully tight they are. Adding insult to injury, you’ve also wasted $12 that could have been spent elsewhere. If you must get these, put aside any size snobbery and save you, and your lady regions, any emotional or physical pain!
The Ho-Hum: Victoria Secret’s Lace Trim Thong
For years I did the bulk of my underwear shopping out of the Pink collection. I wear tons of black and dark colors, so it was kind of fun to go the completely off the deep end and wear wild prints underneath it all. But the quality at Victoria Secret’s has gone down. Even when washed in a protective bag the lace doesn’t hold up, the colors fade fast, and the fabric doesn’t pill, but gets fuzzy after a few wears. And the worst part is you’re usually stuck with five pairs!
Are you brand loyal? Can any males out there (who shockingly made it through the post) relate? Doesn’t the word Panty just make you cringe? Oh, the things one does for SEO!